No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
