party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
