Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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