I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
