He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
