okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize