haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
worst night to have a conscience
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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