My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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