Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
