She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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