Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize