She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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