You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize