We won't sleep together?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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