i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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