Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize