I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize