Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
