Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
