I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
