You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The air taste purple.
Randomize
