why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
