you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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