Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
