I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
