I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
