Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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