Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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