Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
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The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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