whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
