Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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