you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize