I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize