I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...