I'm going to jail i love you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks