she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
