i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
