I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
