you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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