he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and she was petting her beer can
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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