We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
