Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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