did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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