Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Someone signed my nipple.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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