Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
