I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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