i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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