I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize