sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
