Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize