i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
