drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
