I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
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If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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