Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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