I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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