I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
