hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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