my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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